A triangle man sees a triangle woman.
The triangle man notices that the triangle woman has two sides and one angle that measure the exact same as…
A man walks into the psychiatrist wrapped completely in Saran Wrap
The Doctor said, I can clearly see your nuts….
My wife says she’s sick of me pretending to be a detective. She thinks we should split up.
I said “great idea! We’ll cover more ground that way.”
Superman was at the bar drowning his sorrows…
The bartender asked why he was so glum. He told him "I got caught cheating on Lois by sleeping with…
Two explorers went deep into the African jungle, where they discovered an ancient, hidden tomb.
Before them was a glittering idol, solid gold and encrusted in precious stones. They stuffed it into their pack and…
Women always called me ugly until they learned how much money I have.
After that, they called me ugly and poor.
Know why the chicken went to the gym?
To work on his pecks
The inventor of auto-correct just died.
The funnel will be held tomato.
I read a fan-fiction of Greek mythology containing a romantic relationship where the hero was written so out of character they were basically the same character in name only.
It was called "A Ship of Theseus."
A woman is in court for shoplifting
The Judge asks the woman what she stole. “A can of peaches your Honour” she replies. The Judge thinks on…
A woman is in court for shoplifting
The Judge asks the woman what she stole. “A can of peaches your Honour” she replies. The Judge thinks on…
A Shakespearean character enters a gay bar…
Exit, pursued by a bear.
McDonald’s
An elderly couple walked into a McDonald’s and sat down at a table near some young people who were having…
My grandpa warned people the Titanic would sink…
No one listened, but he kept warning them until they got sick of him and kicked him out of the…
The Americans accidentally launched a missile that fell on Soviet territory, destroying an entire city.
The US President calls the First Secretary: – Comrade, we are very sorry, it was a mistake, we will pay…
A nihilist, a socialist, and a neo-marxist walk into a bar and order drinks.
"We don't sell alcohol to anyone under 18", says the bartender.
I wonder if people who spank Dwayne Johnson…
realize they've hit rock bottom…